Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Sore Ass, Lazy Ass, Dumb Ass

I was going to open up by complaining about my aches and pains because I was on my knees all night, but you people are pigs. I was painting my sundeck, dammit. Grow up.

Last spring we had a sundeck built to replace the nasty-ass, child endangering concrete slabs that used to be there. It's beautiful and as I've mentioned before, roughly the size of an aircraft carrier. Really. I live fairly close to Vancouver International Airport. YVR called me a month ago asking if they could land a Cessna with engine problems in my back yard because they didn't think it would make it to the airport. I said, no prob, let me clear the toys off first. It's just how I roll. I wasn't really happy about how long the repairs took, but honesty, the wings provided fantastic shade and the boys loved it.

Anyway, by the time I got around to painting it last year it was already August and apparently cedar doesn't absorb stain so well during the hottest time of the day and the hottest month of the year. Go figure. Flash forward a year to me borrowing my father-in-law's sander. It was so much fun the first time, why not do it again? I finished the sanding about two weeks ago. Then it rained. And rained some more. And a little bit after that. Now the wood is finally dry and, surprise surprise, it's August again!

I got up early yesterday and painted half the deck then went out again after the boys went to bed and finished it off. Now my knees hurt, though not as bad as my tail bone and what the hell's with that? My sacrum and coccyx feel like they've been crushed together. Maybe wife gave me an atomic drop while I was sleeping last night? It's possible. Imagine Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Bruce Lee in Game of Death. And, no, I didn't miss the fact that Kareem (me) lost. Wife has mad Shaolin skillz.

So now it's done. Again. And much like last year, now that it's done summer is half over and we won't be able to find decent outdoor furniture. It's a beautiful deck, but hard on the ass. Hence the sore ass.

*This is one of those posts I begin in the morning before I start work. One of those I get back to at lunch and have totally lost the thread on. Whatever, deal with it.

Peace out!


  1. I posted this exact same thing over at Middle Aged Woman's site: I must admit that I had to look up bat'leth to see just what the hell it was. I saw a link titled "Sizing your bat'leth" and got really scared...and a little nervous.

    And yes, Bruce Lee would always win. Your wife is wise. Now, remind me again who this Kareem fella is? Is he the tall, lanky "actor" who played the co-pilot in Airplane!? Wah, wah, wah.

  2. Is that really how you spell "Shaolin"? I use it all the time but never spell it. Looks like it's wanting a w. Probably not though.

  3. Okay, this is the perfect time to buy furniture because it's all on sale now.

  4. Jen: Ahahahahaha! Sizing your bat'leth.

    Jenny: First off, OMG, Jenny, the blogess? Second, since Shaolin is an anglisized version of a Chinese word you can pretty much spell it anyway you like.

    'that girl': Yes, you'd think that, but when we tried last year we couldn't find anything. Who knows, maybe this year will be different.

  5. First I want to know about your fascination/connection with Bruce Lee, but for a reason. Second, I want to know in what context Jenny the Blogess is able to use the word Shaolin all the time. Because I want THAT life.


Come on, sailor. I love you long time.