I did A LOT of gardening this weekend. At some point I was bitten by a large tarantula, and not one of those little ones you see in the pet store, but one of those gigantic ones from the jungles of Brazil that jump off trees and catch birds and are like, 3 feet across. But Chad, don't you live in a rain forest in BC? Isn't it a little wet for tarantulas? Isn't Canada a little cold for those spiders? Whatever, you didn't see it. Ok, neither did I, but it must have been big. The bite mark is huge and puffy and red. Is the red from being itched too much? Shut up! Out of my blog!
Me: (jumping on the bed and sticking the back of my leg in my wife's face) Is there pus?
Wife: (sighing dramatically) It looks better.
Me: Are baby spiders going to burst out soon?
Wife: (rapidly losing patience and wanting to go back to her book) It's wet, there's stuff coming out...
Me: Baby spiders?
Wife: ...it's probably from you scratching. Go wash it off.
Me: Fine
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Come on, sailor. I love you long time.