Tuesday, December 22, 2009

RTT: ChristmASS

I still haven't seen my favourite Christmas movie yet this year.


Yippee-ki-yay.

randomtuesday

Last weekend we were out driving somewhere and had our car radio tuned to a Christmas station. This late 80's electric guitar/synthesizer/orchestral version of Carol of the Bells comes on and Connor gets all excited. "Daddy, it's the music from Halo!" Sure enough, this horrible piece of Xmas music sounds exactly like the background music from the video game. I did look for a YouTube link to the song but I couldn't find it. Just as well, it's terrible. Still, if you find yourself under attack by an evil group of aliens hell bent on eradicating humans at least you've got something Christmasey to listen to.

The other night I was walking to my bus stop after work and I see this woman waiting for a pedestrian to cross the street so she can make a left. And she honks at the guy crossing the road! 'Tis the season to be jolly or not, pull that shit on me and I will key your ass as you drive by. Ho ho ho.


I saw this on Fragrant Liar's blog last Thursday and it was too beautiful not to share.


Seeing a cat with his head stuck up Mr. Potato Head's ass is not something you see every day.

If you've ever lived in a city that's hosted an Olympics you'll know that the Olympic committee can go a little Nazi-ish when it comes to copyright infringement. They put the hammer down on anybody using the name "Olympics" or any form of it as well as any use of the city's name and the date, like Vancouver 2010. For example, there was a pizza place in Vancouver named Olympic Pizza. It's had that name for something like three decades and they were forced to change it. Now, I LOVE the Olympic games and I know they cost a fortune to run, but were they really worried about losing pizza sales? And how exactly to you copyright a 2700 year old event? Anyway, Vancouver based Lululemon introduced a new line of sports wear called the "Cool Sporting Event That Takes Place in British Columbia Between 2009 and 2011 Edition." Heh heh. I'm all for stickin it to the MAN.

Low-rise ass cracky jeans. Mom's, if you want to let me see your bum that's A-OK with me, but your nine year old daughter's? That. Is. Just. Wrong.

Monday night around 9:30 our power goes out. As I'm standing in the middle of my black kitchen I hear Supreme Leader shout down from upstairs, "Hey! The power is out."

I'm just going to leave that there.

Yes, I'm going to pay for it.


Go see the Un-Mom's for more crazy Random Tuesdayness.

41 comments:

  1. Oh, Mr. HH and I love that movie! It's not my FAVORITE Christmas movie (that slot belongs to Holiday Inn, now and forever), followed by Going My Way (seriously, if you don't cry at the end of that movie, you're either dead inside, have been abducted by aliens and replaced with a replica that has no tear ducts or a zombie. Die Hard is definitely in my top 10 though.
    Olympic Pizza? What did they have to change their name to? That sucks. Stupid OIC. Lululemon is now my hero.
    Yippee-ki-yay!

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  2. Oi, I could have been killed. I can't believe you didn't yell at that crazy driver on my behalf.

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  3. I LOVE a cat that's bold enough to play GOALIE!!!---But wait. Is that a Flyers Mask?

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  4. How did the cat get his head stuck up Mr. Potato Head's ass? That is the question.

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  5. Hi Captain! I'm in total agreement with you on the nine year old "ass-crack" jeans thing...for the love of Santa, those mom's should get those girls thongs if they're going low rise...am I right?

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  6. I fear the inappropriate tween wear for girls... My daughter is only three and "YES I CAN!" is her mantra (and not in a self affirming power of positive thinking kind of way...) I would say it's just an age thing, but her twin brother isn't nearly as defiant. So much to look forward to...

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  7. What do you have against Halo music?

    Love the cat.

    You're wife is going to switch out your toothpaste with Preparation H.

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  8. It sounds like the Supreme Leader is a member of that club "Masters of the Obvious." I'm a member, too. :)

    There are many little girls who wear inappropriate clothes. It just slays me that parents let them.

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  9. My favorite is when the kitchen timer is going off and everyone in the house yells, "Tiiiiimmmmmerrr" but does nothing to actually SHUT the damn thing off.

    Girls close scare the crap out of me. I think I'm going to keep the Pixie in something resembling Amish wear until she's 20. That's okay, right?

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  10. "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

    Lord how I worship Alan Rickman.

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  11. Die Hard, that is a classic. Why is it when the power goes out, you still try to turn on lights?

    Regarding the Olympic clothing line: Power to the little people. One day we WILL rule the world.

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  12. You need one of those computer battery backups. I love it when nobody has power, yet I can still play Carmageddon or watch Devil's Rejects on iTunes.

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  13. You go, lululemon.

    That movie is a Christmas tradition at our house, too. I'm betting this year the little parrot will repeat the second part of "yipee ki yay".

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  14. LOL! We held the Olympics in 2002 and it was nuts! Construction for years... It feels a little bit like that again now... Bugger.

    Poor kitty...

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  15. Die Hard - Best holiday movie ever! Nothing is better than a movie where there is a lot of swearing, cars get wrecked for no real reason and everyone dies! Love it!

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  16. cats need a helmet for when you're tossing them in the air.

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  17. How does your cat fly?
    I fling her.
    Always good to have a crash helmet.

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  18. ummm...Dumbass....SL yelled that down because she was being POLITE! You're supposed to FIX THAT SHIT! That she had to yell down is an outrage.

    For shame!

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  19. The cat picture is great. How do you fix that one.

    When the supreme leader comes after you you might want to cut the power again to aid your escape. You will need a plan.

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  20. LOVE die hard!@ actually anything Bruce;)

    poor cat

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  21. Die Hard will always be a Christmas classic for our family!!!

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  22. My roommates have been trying to convince me for years that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie EVER. And Im pretty sure the cat up Mr Potato Heads ass JUST made my week. Happy Holidays!

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  23. That's a new one...Mr. potato head with a *****

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  24. Perhaps the cat was just tired of licking its own ass and wanted something potato flavored.

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  25. yikes on the 9 year old...wonder what statement the parents are making when i see that...

    the cat...rofl

    gotta love the holiday spirit...especially if you are in the car where it is warm...

    have a great holiday!

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  26. That Supreme Leader has it going on. You guys are in gooooooood hands.

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  27. Have to disagree - A Christmas Story is the BEST Christmas.Movie.Ever!! But dang Die Hard was/is great - best villan ever Alan Rickman.

    I did not hear about Lululemon - awesome!!!

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  28. You should see that movie soon. With a vengeance. Sorry, when the sequel (x3?) came out, I tacked that phrase onto everything I said. It was funny for a few weeks.

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  29. just wondering how they can force the store to change the name

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  30. Oh how I've missed you - you wacky Canadian spelling it "favourite"... Also, I live in Atlanta aka SponsorshipWhoresFromThe1996 Olympics. If it didn't have a Coke swirl on it we weren't allowed to drink it. AND... my nine year old looks like Erkle with the pants pulled up to her armpits.

    That was my random comment for your random post.

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  31. Poor Mr. Potato Head. Really, who wants a cat up their arse?

    Captain Dumbass, you have sired Captain Obvious. Marvelous powers of observation that kid has.

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  32. Bruce Willis's character, John McClane really reminds me of my brother, Michael (about 20 years ago... bro's gettin' old now!)! Michael isn't a cop or anything, just a bully. and I can so hear him saying Yippee Ki-yay, Mutha F*****. and beating the piss out of any guy who got in his way. just sayin.....

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  33. Lemme tell you something about low rise jeans. Only about 2% of the population can carry that shit off. Everyone else should put it away. Jerkweeds.

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  34. Die Hard is an awesome movie! The cat with its head up Mr. Potato Head's ass is better though. That is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Now I want to buy one and see if my cat will do it.

    9 year olds with low rise jeans? Very wrong. Even worse if they are wearing a thong. That's scary.

    Oh, you are so going to pay for it. ;-)

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  35. How did they get Mr. Potato Head off the cat's head?

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  36. Bwaaah-ha-ha-ha! So funny to see my cat on your blog. Well, the girl does need a little promotion for that stunt, doesn't she? Thanks for the linky love, Cap'n.

    I don't like the guys wearing their jeans on their asses either. Seriously, what the hell is a waistband for, if not for your waist?

    Happy new year!

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  37. Dude, tis the season alright. Some asshole started shit with me today in a Target parking lot. He decided that I was driving too closely (Swear, I was not for once) and slammed on his brakes as we were both pulling in, leaving me stranded in the middle of the street with cars coming towards me. He refused to move and opened his window to call me a bitch so I opened mine and a string of beautifully assembled swear words came out of my mouth. I only regret not calling him a douche canoe. Dammit.

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  38. Hey, I LOVE Carol of the Bells... just maybe not an '80s synthesized version. And you should probably keep your eyes on SL's ass-crack... even if there are other MILFs with theirs sticking out.

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  39. lol what a cute pic...... someone has a very funny imagination.. happy new year....

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Come on, sailor. I love you long time.