It's Random Tuesday, deal with it.
That's Connor eating a piece of celery. C-E-L-E-R-Y. He just nonchalantly picked it up off of Supreme Leader's plate and started eating it. She immediately started hissing at me and pantomiming 'camera' and 'take a picture of this now or you're cooking for yourself forever.' She's talented like that.
My bank is all about convenience. Today I went in to get some US cash for our trip to the States this week. The teller swiped my card and gave me the money without asking for any ID, any PIN number or any security questions. Took all the fun out of stealing the card to begin with.
Remember Tron? They're filming a remake in Vancouver right now.
Speaking of movies. JJ Abrams (Heroes, Lost, Fringe, Alias, Felicity, Cloverfield and the new Star Trek movie) bought the rights to Stephen King's The Dark Tower series. King likes Abrams so much he sold him the rights for $19. If you read the series you'll get that.
My son Liam's temper is like a seismic event, a shifting of tectonic plates. Sudden, violent & totally unpredictable.
When I first found out I was going to be a father, the need to shout out "Hey! Get your peepee off the wall!" wasn't on the list of things I thought would come along with the job.
A couple of weeks ago Connor's class went to the aquarium for the day. Since it's a kindergarten/grade one mix Liam was allowed to come along too. Part of the tour was an educational segment that featured a puppet show with various types of sealife. One of them was Sammy the Salmon. A few nights ago before bath time Liam says, "Sammy the Salmon lives in here," pointing to his underwear. "Wake up, Sammy!" That's my boy.
Tuna tataki courtesy of Iron Chef Rob Feenie. Seared albacore tuna, green papaya slaw, orange, avocado, pine nuts and yuzu vinaigrette.
The tuna made love to my tongue while I slipped into a coma. Don't look at me like that, you don't understand how good that tuna was.
This week's playlist:
1. Roll With The Changes - REO Speedwagon (I can't help it, it just take control of me)
2. My Delirium - Ladyhawke (thanks Kat)
3. Mahgeetah - My Morning Jacket
4. A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke (thanks Robin)
5. Stray Dog - Robert Pattinson (thanks Ms. Salti)
6. Detroit '67 - Sam Roberts (thanks Middle Aged Woman)
7.
8.
9.
10.
Ah hell. It's past midnight and I'm tired. Screw the playlist. Today was one of those days the kids were making me feel like a failure as a parent. Thanks boys.
Go to Keely's and get on board the love train.
Posts
What bank did you go with? I could do with getting some cash from this pile of stolen cards in my wallet.
ReplyDeleteIt is a brave man that takes a knife to his boxer shorts while wearing them, or a foolish one.
Reminder to self - Never, ever, read blog post titles out loud. Ever.
ReplyDeleteHaven't you heard celery is the next nemesis of the world? Dayton Time has the details.
Tuna -I just don't get how people eat raw fish. I actually don't get how people eat cooked fish either but that one I am more on board with than the raw kind.
Happy Random Tuesday.
You never thought you would have to tell them to get their PeePee of the wall, and I never thought I would have to ask "Who put the dried dog poop on the patio table?" Seriously.
ReplyDeleteomg, it's Scotia Bank, isn't it??
ReplyDeleteNow I'm freaking out because I've never thought of it that way. I'm also going to follow people out in the parking lot after dark and rob them for their cards.
I don't like all that penis talk in the same vicinity of the exacto knife. . .
ReplyDeleteI just told Jamie about the Tron remake and he gave me the whole story and said it's a sequel set 20 years later and blah blah blah blah. Thanks for making me have to hear that. Next thing you know, he'll make me watch Babylon 5 or Battlestar Gallactica with the only child free time I get each day. Frack.
ReplyDeleteI knew my bank account seemed lower. You must've stolen the card. Yeah. That's it.
ReplyDeleteNo mention of the playoffs?
ReplyDeleteWe get the Ducks.
You get the Hawks.
See ya in the Conference Finals.
Um, can you explain the raw fish to me? Please? Thankyouverymuch.
ReplyDeleteSam Cooke? Awesome. Glad I can be of service! (Thanks for the linky love!)
I never had any boys, so I've never had the opportunity to say, "get your pee pee off the wall." I think I've missed out. However, when my nephew was younger (a toddler), she did get to tell him, "stop touching your dee dee." As for feeling like a failure as a father, I think not. Your kids will always have the dad with the best sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteTron? Are you kidding me! Cool! And as they get older you'll be telling them to get their pee pee off of other things too.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever had to answer the question "Why does my pee pee feel so strong in the morning?"
ReplyDeleteI have.
How the hell is J.J. Abrams going to be able to do anything cohesive with The Dark Tower? Jesus. Each book makes The Stand feel like a Dr. Seuss book. It would have to be a TV series. A long long long TV series.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, Stephen King is the coolest EmEffer on the planet.
Are Canadian banks on the list of bailouts? Now I know why.
ReplyDeleteI'd go see the new Tron movie!
ReplyDeletePee seems to be a common factor between us this week. Cheers, Cap'n.
ReplyDeleteI think I am stealing this Random Tuesday bit. I likes it.
ReplyDeleteA Tron remake could be good and possibly great.
You were lucky that there were no slip ups or accidents when you took that knife to your boxer shorts, still in them.
Holy Hell!!! That tuna!!
ReplyDeleteIf I was alone I'd so be Jacking it right now.
You're welcome for the mental image.
ok you are a brave man boxers and a knife and penis yeah scares me! brave boy also celery yuck! i love veggies but thats not one of them!
ReplyDeletehttp://flgaydad.today.com/
My husband would have done the same thing with the boxers. He has also passed this gene down to our sons. Hardest meat for me to give up was Ahi Tuna rolled in sesame seeds and barely kissed by the fire. nom nom.
ReplyDeleteOK, your post on Tuna and your playlist got me to switching my CD over to You can Tune a piano, but you can't Tuna fish by REO Speedwagon. Thanks for the subtle nudge— I needed a change.
ReplyDeleteI can get behind that play list.
ReplyDeleteReo. I'll have some of that too please!
ReplyDeleteGet your peepee off the wall is killing me. Words to live by.
that tuna dish up there - I want some!!
ReplyDeletethe things we say as parents!
Captain, I think we all have had those days. As a matter of fact, I think I feel that way atleast twice a week.
ReplyDeleteMahgeetah!! Hell yeah!!
ReplyDeleteTuna made love to your tongue. teehee.
Yes, your tongue and the tuna may have made love, but did you make noises when you did it. That would be me. The first bite of good sushi makes me groan.
ReplyDeleteFYI - eating in public with me is very embarassing.
Amazing what we do after we have kids...
ReplyDeletethe tuna was great looking and i understand how good it can taste. i say sushi is like an orgasim of the mouth. love the stuff.
ReplyDeletejust dont make the connection with sammy the salmon and raw tuna to your lil son. please
If you were a real man you would have cut off the toe so the underwear holes would no longer be a problem.
ReplyDeleteIf supreme leader gives you any grief about the boxers, just tell her that your penis likes air.
I hate when my underwear tears. I have never took the time to trim it up though. You are ahead of the curve.
ReplyDeleteI'm slipping into a coma over the Dark Tower news.
ReplyDeleteIn the good way.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching the original TRON in the theater. I hope this one is better.
ReplyDeleteExplain gingerly to the boy that Salmon have a short life, at the end of which they turn all red and scaley, then die.
Why were your toes in your boxers? You must be very limber. I would think that would be uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteThat musta been some damn good tuna.
ReplyDeleteHappy RTT!
Wish I could get Princess Nagger to nonchalantly eat celery...or any vegetable for that matter... ;)
ReplyDeleteConvenient banks are the best...
That tuna definitely looks coma-inducing in a good way...
Great Randomness! :)
At least you wear goddammed underwear. And you change it. You DO change it, right?
ReplyDeleteHoly s**t! TRON?! Oh, man, brings back memories. Say, you weren't wearing those boxers when you cut the stuff off with the xacto, were you? I don't know about you but I wouldn't want sharp steel anywhere near my junk.
ReplyDeleteAnd that tuna is making me really hungry...dammit.
Today I yelled, "Stop sticking your penis in the dog's face!" (after "do you think that's wise?" elicited no reaction) and "Get your naked butt off my couch before you leak all over it!". Yeah, things you never thought you'd say. Or scream at the top of your lungs.
ReplyDeleteTron? Hehheheheh.
My daughter's temper must be the pink glittery counterpoint to Liam's.
ReplyDeleteI love "get your peepee off the wall." That was awesome. I haven't heard "stray dog" so I'll have to go check it out. Did you get a chance to check out the new stuff I found? Hope you have a fun trip this weekend!
ReplyDeletedidn't you have an indecent back as a teen involving your leg a blade and shoelaces?????
ReplyDeleteWhen my son's temper reveals itself, I am always stunned, pretty much clueless as to what to do.
ReplyDeleteDeer-in-the-headlights parenting. Probably not the best approach.
That little mind of yours just never stops working, does it? And by "little" I mean giant, impressive, huge and wondrous.
ReplyDeleteEllie
Well, at least I just saved you a post: I have something special for you! Like a pedophile with candy, eh? Come see my blog.
ReplyDeleteSo what's its name? *grin, wink*
ReplyDeleteTRON! When does that come out?! I love Canada! Hey, how far are you from Calgary? Once I was in Toronto at the downtown Sheraton and they were filming Resident Evil 2 at city hall. Zombies kept me awake at night while I was there. It was awesome.
Tron? TRON?
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahaha!!!
Dude, I totally LOVED that movie as a kid. I wanted to go into a computer.
And my bank has done that same thing. Scary, no?
I was feeling left out to begin with because raw (or barely cooked) fish makes me gag...but then I also realized I don't have a penis to name, so now I must go sulk in my corner.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
That tuna did look awesome.
ReplyDeleteThe Dark Tower Series? Really? That would cool. Stephen King ruined my life for about five years until he finally finished writing that goddamn series.
I left you a present on my blog....
ReplyDeleteSERIOUSLY - Stop posting delicious meals. All I .ever can think of to comment on your blog anymore is "WANT ________ (whatever it is you posted."
ReplyDeleteAnd man, I'ma let my husband deal with my son's peepee names later down the road haha
Wow, I thought I was the only one who trimmed around the frayed edges of tears in my underpants!
ReplyDeleteI still have quite a few pairs that are over 10 years old, from back in high school, which my wife of course just loves.
I feel that much less alone in this world now... No, those aren't happy tears, I just got some frayed bits of underwear in my eyes.
Are there no more original ideas?
ReplyDeleteI was not mentally prepared for all the penis obsession either..(2 boys at home)..I mean, I knew it would completely overtake them in the teen years, but had no idea about the little years.
ReplyDeleteAlso - I think you should put a donation button up for some new boxers..
you think i could fit in your trunk?
ReplyDeleteYou're finally coming to visit and watch my children while my husband and I go out of town?
ReplyDeleteYou're so sweet. I heart you. Bring wine.
Diggin' the random.
ReplyDeleteaw sammy...my son called his mike for a while...then jacksonville. now he just says, "balls."
ReplyDeleteCome on sailor I love you long time?
ReplyDeleteI can hear that, it's a low-rent Vietnamese or Bangkok voice. Actually I think I know her....
Salmon in the underwear was hilarious. :D I've got THREE boys and the things I say and hear are unbelievable. My favorite is the "Mom, make it stop! I don't know why it does THAT?!" while feverishly touching their parts in an effort to make it go back down.
ReplyDeleteSigh. ;-)
Loved your random list. What a great glimpse into your life.
I never thought that I would say..."Who's boogers are on the wall???"
ReplyDelete