Random Tuesday: We Kissed, As If Nothing Would Fall*

Right. Let's get to it.

I received an angry email yesterday from Iowa insinuating I have some type of cranial flatulence issue. While that may well be, forgetting her pictures was an accident. So without further ado, the lovely and forgiving Church Punk Mom: "Here's mine.. the verse it references is, "Consider the ravens: They do not sow, or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!" It's my little reminder to myself that I'm important to God and He's always got my back... cause I seem to forget that.. like.. a LOT."



and here is my husband's... it reads: "Dead to sin, Alive in Christ".. the red arrow represent his sin, which is broken and the two different color eyes are the old him changing to the new him. He likes to use 'band art' for his tattoos.


We're all about customer satisfaction here at Us & Them.

The other day I was out returning some movies. I drive into the strip mall the video store is located in and am immediately nearly t-boned on either side by two Mercedes who apparently believe their right of way is righter than mine because their rides have five digits in the price tag. Well kids, here's the thing. This is a four year old Caravan, I am well insured and my children are not in the car. Not only am I not slowing down because I have the right of way, I am speeding up. Let's test all those vaunted German safety features! Will I get hurt? Don't care! You're payin!

How is it that 'righter' gets past spell check?

Four months after starting to paint my bathroom it is finally finished. I don't like to rush things.

Saturday morning I was just about to leave the house when I noticed my shirt smelled. Like really smelled. Like wet goat who has eaten a durian and has bad gas. Don't know what a durian is, ok, wet goat who has eaten a rotting corpse and has bad gas. I thought maybe I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. Not that I smell that bad (I hear Supreme Leader laughing). So I put on some more deodorant and a new tshirt and off we go. Later in the day I realize the smell is back. Rewind three or four days. Liam wakes up with a fever. While sitting with me at the computer he throws up over my shoulder. SL cleans it up with a bath towel that eventually gets buried beneath a pile of other laundry and forgotten amidst countless other disasters. Yes the room smells, but we figure it's from the carpet where the puke originally hit (hence the current search for a steam cleaner). Friday I discovered it and did a load of laundry. Same load the two shirts were in. See, it wasn't me. I'd never eat a rotten corpse.

Ikea: Swedish for designed in Hell for your suffering. You know what's more fun than going to Ikea on a Sunday afternoon and then having your 3 and 5 year old try to help you assemble 3 book shelves? Having the five year old lean on a shelf that is only attached by those little f*cking dowels while you search for a screw. Then you get to go back to Ikea! Despite all the crying (his!) I think this may have been Connor's plan so he could go back for more ice cream.

Speaking of Ikea, while I loaded the car (first time), Supreme Leader took the boys to get their ice cream. When the server handed them over a woman beside SL started complaining that SL had received more ice cream than she did. Why? Why did I decide to load the car and come back?

Dear (insert name of American retailer, large or small who doesn't ship to Canada), Hello? This isn't North Korea or another planet. Granted there isn't a lot of us up here, but still, there's quite a few of us. It's like deciding not to sell to California. We want to buy your stuff. We have money. Yes, it comes in a kaleidoscope of colours, but it's still money. Look, this whole recession thing? Hitting us too, but not as bad. We can help. Really. Amazon.com sells like, everything. Amazon.ca? I can buy a fork.

I think I've been screwing up Random Tuesday Thoughts by not hitting some button thingy at Un-Mom's. Guess I should have mentioned her up top too. I meant at the top of the page, not her... you know, top... though I'm sure it's worth mentioning. Er... watch the video.



*name it.