Monday, November 10, 2008

My Womb Twitched

And then my 16 year old nephew clutched his ears and began to scream. Oh yes, it's been that kind of a weekend. Saturday night was my little niece Michelle's 8th birthday.

(This is how Liam smiles)

Supreme Leader tells me there was only 12 courses, but I don't believe it. Tell it to my ruptured stomach. The baby is the newest member of the family, Madeleine Rose. The paparazzi were cutthroat so I had to adapt. If you can't take a picture of the baby, take a picture of another camera taking a picture of the baby.

Thank you Lola and Charlie,

because of you Connor will now eat green drops from Greenland (peas).

Now if there were a book that could convince him that "Happy Birthday" should not inspire terror...

It was a very long night and thankfully Liam fell asleep on the ride home. Unfortunately when we arrived home and I turned on the lights in the dining room a blue arc of electricity a la Frankenstein shot out of the light switch along with a small but still alarming amount of smoke. Great. Who exactly do you call about that at 11:30pm on a Saturday night. I went to the fuse box...the totally unmarked fuse box and flipped switches until the power went out in the dining room. Nothing had caught on fire but we weren't taking any chances.

Does it end there? No, of course not, that would be too easy. Apparently when my house was built they decided to let the landscapers do the wiring just for a laugh. The fuse for the dining room also controls the power to the master bedroom. Where our second TV is. The one that isn't in the living room that isn't working now either even though a light on the opposite side of the room is. Neither is hood above the oven, cause that makes perfect sense. We did our pre-bed time reading in the en suite. That was comfy. Oh, you know what also runs on electricity? Our heat. Did I mention I live in Canada? (Actually it's been pretty damn warm lately and wasn't that bad, but it sounded funny) Good thing Supreme Leader LOVES it when I snuggle up to her.

This morning I called our electrical guy who is a captain of a fire hall where we live and also lives up the block from us. We figure he's pretty trustworthy as an electrician given his day job. Also, if my house catches fire, I know where he lives. He's an awesome guy, unfortunately he doesn't always remember to come over when he says he will so tonight we have extension cords running all over the house. Good thing I go overboard at Christmas. And since we have little people who get up far too early in the morning I had to duct tape all the cords to the floor so they don't trip over them.

Other than that I could bitch about my DVD burner throwing in the towel when I wanted to back up some pictures, but honestly, aside from the near electrical fire, this weekend has been AWESOMESAUCE! I got a bazillionty things done around the house, the kids have been...well, mostly adorable and... well I don't know, but I feel pretty good so HooRah!


  1. And second. Supreme Leader looks like she might be ready for a third. Heh, heh.

  2. who needs electricity? It's highly overrated....

  3. Dude, if I had a 10 thousand mile long extension cord, I would totally let you bum some power. Wait, let me call John and find out...
    He says no. Sorry.

  4. dude... how old is your house?

    the first house we moved to here in des moines, had some... issues. one of them was that whoever 'updated' the electrical crap did a ..well.. crap job of it. upon inspection, we found that it was not up to code.. and not entirely safe for a family of 6 with small children. we were out of there faster than the constant brown-outs fried my husband's computer and found ourselves another 100year old home with proper electrical fixings.

  5. Great pic of the baby! She's adorable.

    I'm glad your house didn't burn down. Good luck getting the wiring fixed.

  6. your house sounds like the wiring nightmare we have in our house as well.

  7. Don't you just love weekends like that? I had a pretty good one myself.

  8. Did you say duct tape?!? I love me some fucking duct tape!

    Oh and so sorry about all the pesky electricity not working and many times have you gone into a room and turned on the switch?! Cause I know I do that EVERY time the electricity goes out in these parts. Good times.

  9. Love the Charlie and Lola books! They totally talk like real kids talk.

    Sometimes when we turn off the garage light it trips a circuit and shuts down our garage fridge AND several light switches in the kitchen? which is on the other side of the house? The people that lived here before us jerry rigged some stuff. They wrote in marker on the cover of the sprinkler controls,

    "Captain Half Ass Was Here"

    any relation?

  10. Electricity, schmelectricity. Who needs it?

    My uterus actually speaks to me when I look at pictures of infants. It's a stream of consciousness thing that sounds like this: baby baby gimme want must have baby have baby baby now now not later right now get that baby want baby now.

    So, easy on the baby pics there dude.

    Also, I love Liam's smile. That cracked me up.

    P.S. What does "en suite" mean? Does that mean that master bedroom? The bathroom? Once again I am confused by the Canadian jargon.

  11. Second house we moved into we had 3 fires in 3 months. We knew who wired the house, my Father-in-law, was he an electrician by trade nope! He must have done our house also.

  12. I think, I can't be sure though, that if you were to "fiddle" around in the Circuit Breaker with a butter knife....That'd 'probly fix it.

    And if not....Duct Tape can be used to treat Electrical burns.

    I think. Hell, you can use it for everything eles.

  13. Wow. At least no one was electrocuted. Had you been electrocuted, though, it might have been an interesting tale. Not this wasn't...but you know what I mean! :-)

  14. Happy Birthday to M. She's adorable. Coonor looks like he's
    same size or bigger.
    Ok, have to ask, "where did tht baby come from?"
    As to elecric problems. That is scary, make sure electrician/fireman does get over.
    Promise him one of Bern's banna
    bread, anything. Big Red's Mother
    has a very scary electrical system.
    His father believed that you can fix anything with "haywire!"

  15. I think your landscapers did our house as well. We had a simlar issue and discoverd each breaker is made up of one outlet from each room. WTF? I guess they thought..... OK, I have no clue what they thought. I just think they were drunk.

  16. You guys so totally need a little girl!! Heck, we didn't give up until we had our second little girl and see how awesomesauce that came out? Yeap!! 6 is a wonderful number!! (wait, don't tell Supreme Leader about that part, it might send her running!)

  17. Last!

    Okay, I tried.

    Cute, cute kids! And that's totally a Canon camera. i have the same one!

  18. That is a totally cute baby, I'm surprised Supreme Leader didn't sneak her out in her purse. Sorry about your electricity, it must be COLD there. It's nice and toasty here in FL... come on down!

  19. What did SL womb do? That's the womb that counts. Well, not really, that's just the womb with the goods.

  20. I'd loan you the electricity, but as it is our power bill is THROUGH THE ROOF!! Damned utility criminals are taking us for everything we're worth.

  21. Careful saying HooRah. I said it the other day and my plan fell completely apart. The new addition to the family is entirely too cute!

  22. Wow
    What an electric weekend you had -
    Hope things are all good in the hood soon -

  23. Good luck... we lost power 3 times last winter and it sucked. Call me high maintenance, but I like to be warm and I complain when I'm not. Loudly.

  24. congrats on not burning down the house! Bonus in my book.

  25. Love a story that takes the good with the bad. Hope your wires are uncrossed today.

  26. Baby pictures are totally dangerous. As is electricity. Glad you turned the power off. Sorry about the heat and wiring issues, though. Hope you're all doing well.

  27. Cute, cute baby! Your womb twitched huh?! heehee


Come on, sailor. I love you long time.