Ok, I've been trying to behave myself and only post once a day like everybody else, but... I just can't. I gotta be me. If I don't get these things down they just disappear. Or I find something I wrote down a week ago and it's just not that funny anymore. This way you can suffer the unfunny stuff RIGHT AWAY! Like a few days ago I had to send Liam up to his room for some infraction I can't even remember now. To show me how angry he was about this he stripped his bed and threw all the sheets and blankets on the floor. Apparently this was not enough so he stripped off all of his clothes as well. Then he wandered over to our bedroom and peed on my brand new Salman Rushdie book. Now I don't mind if he doesn't like Rushdie's writing, but I think he should read the book before making such a strong statement.
Continuing on with Liam's anger management issues, Supreme Leader banished him to his room yesterday afternoon for some reason. His protests stalled on the stairs and he needed some assistance getting to his room. I escorted him the rest of the way and tried to talk him down. I patiently explained why he had been banished and that we still loved him. He responded, "I'm rubbing nasty snot on you!" And he did. And he had a lot.
Later on in the afternoon the boys and I were playing in the living room. Daddy was hiding under a blanket while the boys dove off the love seat on top of me. At one point the screaming got a little too loud and since dinner was quickly approaching I told them we needed to relax now because it was quiet time. Then I threw off the blanket and found my little angels jumping naked from love seat to sofa and back again. I said, "Hey, quiet time is not naked time!" They thought this was funny as hell and started chanting "Quiet time is naked time!" I'm hoping my little talk with Connor holds and he doesn't start singing this at kindergarten today.
And finally, a little something special for some 'special' people.
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Hey, where's the Michigan accent? Ask 'em to say, "Nobody here can find jobs!" or "The Tigers have to do better next year!" or, how about, "Red Wings Rule!"
ReplyDeleteLOL!! Your son sounds like my oldest - I too agree that peeing on Rushdie is a bit harsh - but heck, he's got his convictions!
ReplyDeleteOh, I saw your post on Steenky Bee - loved that Grey's Anatomy last night too - next week should be interesting - all that water and an operating room...hmmm
Where the hell did my comment go?
ReplyDeleteAh, shit.
Do over.
This made me laugh SO HARD. I literally have tears coming down my face.
"Aboot", "eh" and "y'all" all in one vid? Priceless.
I think I love your wife, for reals. She ROCKS!
Oh, and you gotta come visit my blog today. I'm soliciting questions for my daughter to answer in an interview and I get the feeling you'll have some doozies.
ReplyDeleteHow do I love the Dumbass Family? Let me count the ways. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, ...
ReplyDeleteYou didn't want me to actually list them and count them did you?
Love the ABOOT! And look at you, Supreme Leader, throwing in an "eh" in there.
Your boys are angels by the way. I think you might be making up that peeing on books stuff just for blog fodder.
BTW: In Utah, "For" is pronounced "fer", "Thursday and Friday" and every other day are prounounced "Thurs-dee", "Fri-dee" and so on. We say "exspecially" a lot instead of "esssspecially" and the word "sale" is prounouced "sell".
I love getting a little peek into your world up there.
Oh god, I laughed so hard at your book getting peed on. I'm so glad my girls aren't able to aim and shoot their urine.
ReplyDeleteLoved the "aboot" and the "eh" that your wife tossed in. Now I really feel like you are Canadian.
I'm soooo telling Cutie McWifey that Quiet Time (after the Dynamic Duo is in Bed) IS Naked Time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cap'n Kids.
No need to only post once a day. You've got to be you. I always check at least twice anyway. And to quote Sammy Davis Jr. :
ReplyDeleteI want to live, not merely survive
And I won't give up this dream
Of life that keeps me alive
I gotta be me, I gotta be me
The dream that I see makes me what I am
I"ve decided to teach my kindergarteners the "Quiet time is not naked time" song. Come to room 120 at Park Forest Elem. on Monday at 9:00 and you can help me out.
ReplyDeleteMy kid's gonna kill you for those questions you posted!
ReplyDeletemini bros. at that age, wow, talk
ReplyDeleteabout scary, he knew just what would piss you off the most.
He's lucky he wasn't Auntie M's
house of pain! lol
God help u when he becomes a teen.
m
Henry has lurked at your sons today five times. He can't get enough.
ReplyDeleteI gave you an award today. Check yourself before you wreck yourself at my site.
omgosh i laughed my ass off when your wife said 'eh'. you couldn't sound eastern canadian if ya tried! LOL the boys were cute & funny, too :) hey, and what's wrong w saying 'y'all'? i say that even though i was born in the philippines, grew up mostly in san diego, and only spent two years in georgia (do ya think it's cuz my dad's from alabama? LOL) he has very little southern accent btw.
ReplyDeleteYou make up for those of us who have a hard time posting every other day.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Love your angry naked kid. Mine is 16 now, when he's mad he blasts loud music.
No way. He actually peed on your book? Funny stuff. Dude, you should of at least peed on his favorite toy or something.
ReplyDeleteJust found you through Steenkybee (who I also just found recently). I'm enjoying reading.
ReplyDeleteThis entry made me just crack right up. It's funny, because it didn't happen to me!!
Love the BIG PINK on your blog. Also? The new avatar with the bunny ears. Brilliant. I didn't really have a comment other than to say that when I was just on Kat's blog, my security word was funvak. How awesome is that?
ReplyDeleteYou know, I've yet to meet an actual Canadian that says aboot... eh!
ReplyDeleteMy Honey's grandson insists on running around the house with no pants on... until he's fixin' to go out. He'd get along great with the nekkids at your house!
I think I know why Steeny likes you so much.
aandi-steeny and I were seperated at birth so she's obligated to like me.
ReplyDeleteAs far as Canadians and our speech goes, all of us will drop the 'eh, but 'aboot' is an eastern Canadian thing. Actually, you'll hear 'eh a lot more out there too. And then there's the Newfie's, but you'd need to be from here to understand.
I say eh all the time much to the delight of my American boyfriend. It makes him laugh.
ReplyDeleteI know a Nova Scotian and he must have been operationaly-conditioned to sublimate the "aboot" then... LOL
My apologies anndi, I didn't realize you were writing from la belle province. I spent some ah... formative months in Montreal back in the day.
ReplyDelete