Thursday, July 31, 2008
When Plato spoke of his shadow images this was the first image of ass. Was that Plato? No, it was Socrates. Wait, it was a fictional dialogue with Socrates. I should ask Black Hockey Jesus. It's important to get your Greek philosophers straight when talking about female anatomy.
**Ok, so I started this about 8am this morning and coming back to it now at 1pm I really have nowhere to go.
So yesterday my new GFF, Middle Aged Woman, wrote a post about stuff in her purse which got me thinking about what I've got kicking around in my man bag (man purse, murse, European courier bag, whatever) right now. So I dumped it all on the table to see. Not bad really.
- Bag - black Nike courier bag
- Plastic bag - so I can empty all the pop cans, juice boxes, yogurt and dessert tofu containers out of my desk at work. Though I do like the way my drawer sounds like it's full of empty beer cans.
- Notes for story ideas.
- Back up deodorant - so no one gets hurt if I rush out the door and forget.
- Three Nature Valley Sweet & Salty bars. 2 almond & 1 peanut butter - the kids love them.
- My beat up 5 year old Vuarnet's - more durable with children than Oakley wire frames.
- 1 size 5 Huggies diaper - just in case.
- Ziploc baggie loaded with Advil and Extra Strength Motrin
- Bus tickets - 2 packs of 1 zones and 1 pack of 2 zones
- Mofo - plastic dog
- Big Mac gift certificate from the last time wife went postal on McDonald's for forgetting the apple pies.
- Extra Strength NeoCitron Cold & Flu
- Unopened pay stubs
- Shogun Warrior - I've had that since about 1978. Think I stole it off a kid named Shawn. Recently rescued from my children.
- Tide Stick - thank you Kelly Ripa, you and your giant arms.
- Pens - purple & orange
- Shell of a race car - no wheels or anything, just the body
- Kershaw pocket knife
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
"You off now, hon?"
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
- Connor & Liam
- Dakoda & Mikayla
- Grampa Gordo & Grampa Jerry
- Auntie Ann
- Auntie Melanie
- Uncle Aaron & Auntie Tracy
- Gary (next door neighbour)
- Mommy & Daddy
- Po Po & Gong Gong (grandma & grandpa)
- Auntie's Lucy, Billy & Dizzy
- Uncle's Philip & Thadeo
- Bad people, bad toys - planes, cars, etc
- Uncle Craig & Grandma Lynn
- Everybody else
Special category: Nana - bunny (don't look at me)
Monday, July 28, 2008
So anyway, great big hug Middle Aged Woman.
Bernadette had a weekend off, finally, so it was fun for the whole family. Unfortunately I really shouldn't wait until Monday to start writing about the weekend because by now it's just a hodge podge of random non-linear images. There were sprinklers,
there was the beach,
there were shipwrecks,
there was my mother-in-law's pho (Vietnamese noodle soup if you've never heard of it),
there were strange backward sliding on your ass falling between big giant rocks that even though I saw it happen I cannot quite explain it falls,
and mommy and daddy had enough time to sneak off to see Bat Man. And The Dark Knight, awesome. Then there were those magic moments like Sunday morning while we were all lying in bed watching an animated Avenger's movie and Captain America had just fallen off a nuclear missile fired by an evil alliance between Nazi's and aliens and plunged into the icy North Atlantic and Liam asked if Nemo was down there. Yes there was that moment I thought to myself, you are too young to be watching this, but then I dismissed it, he needs to learn his super heroes and the earlier the better.
**Oh, and if you shave your head regularly like I do, that little open spot on the back of your baseball hat... sunscreen. Trust me.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Me: What's wrong, baby?
Liam: I don't want you to go to work!
Me: ....processing... but honey, it's only Thursday, daddy still has to go to work today.
Liam: (half way through the above sentence) zzzzzzzzz.....
Hmm? Three year old's nightmare or mystic precognition? "Hello? Hi, this is Chad. Ya, listen, I won't be coming in today. No, I'm fine, my son just had a vision last night. No, I'm not sure. He's only 3 and it was early in the morning so it's not like he could really define what he saw, but you know how it is? Ok, sure. See you tomorrow, thanks!"
Wouldn't that be nice? Somehow I just don't see that flying.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
This stuff is the smack of yogurt. Of good for you yogurt.
(I was not paid for this review, however I would happily accept a crate of this from the fine people of Danone. I'd even reword my endorsement so it's not comparing their product to an addictive narcotic.)
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Connor: Mommy, why do you call daddy 'honey?'
Bernadette: Because it's nice. I call him honey. I call him sweetie. I call him the Light of My Uterus.
Me: Hahahahaha! I'm blogging that.
Addendum: Apparently the word she used was 'universe' and not 'uterus.' I stand corrected.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
2. One Word. If you enjoy writing you will like this. Or hate it. You are given a word, but not until you hit the 'go' button. As soon as you're given the word you have 60 seconds to write about it. Anything you want.
3. Last but not least, Dr. Horrible. Just go there and select Act I. I heard rumours about this awhile back, but thanks to jodiferous for posting the link.
Watched the premier of The Cleaner last night. (Whoa! Word to the wise for Blogger users, don't try to use the '&' symbol in the label section of your posts, as in A & E. According to the warning I just received, this is somewhat like tattooing an upside down cross on your forehead.)
If you didn't see it, it is on again on Saturday night. Highly recommend it. And not just because Grace Park is in it. Ah, Boomer. Doesn't hurt, though. Anyway, this is a really good show. Only complaint was the dialogue. Not the writing, which was great, more the sound editing. There were too many bits of conversation that I couldn't hear. And yes, sometimes I play my iPod a little too loud and yes there were a few fans on last night because it was hot, but that wasn't it. Really. Shut up. Oh, I have one other complaint about a certain cast member, another former Battlestar Galactica actor, but I'll keep it to myself in case you are going to watch.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Bern: (coming in from the kitchen) What's wrong?
Me: I can't find the HD remote. The Cleaner's on soon.
Bern: (reaches down and hits the power button on the HD)
Me: ..... I don't like your attitude.
Bern: (leaving) What attitude?
Me: I still need to start recording...oh, I guess there's a button for that too...
2 hours later: VINDICATION!!!
Yes, you can record by pressing a button on the front of the HD recorder, but how do you stop it? No buttons for THAT is there? Huh? That's right. Can't even turn the damn thing off because it won't let you while it's recording. Ha! So there.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Ya. I'll hold onto that. And if you get one and are walking down the street in Vancouver and you see somebody looking at you with hate in their eyes, it's not personal. Well, actually it will be...
Just cause I saw it and wished I could see the Northern Lights like this. And Iceland has been on my mind a lot this week, from teaching Connor to say 'Reykjavík' for no other reason besides making him laugh and to downloading a bunch of Sigur Ros who are awesome. Iceland's one of the few European countries I haven't visited but always wanted to see. Definitely in my bucket list.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Connor: In the last week or so he's begun saying, "What the...?" I guess I know where he got that from. At least he doesn't finish it, which means I don't either. So that's a good thing, right? His whole world revolves around WWII airplanes right now, particularly German ones. I tried to explain to him that these were the bad guys, but in the video games we rent you can choose to fly any plane you want. Guess he just digs the colour scheme. Anyway, he reasoned his way past the whole bad guy thing by deciding we stole the bad guy's plane so it's ok. He knows a startling number of plane names, probably because he spends his days at Grandma and Grampa's watching movies on YouTube. I was going to add he can also pronounce 'Messhersmidt' perfectly, but so can Liam and he's 3. Two and a half months and Connor will be starting kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN! WTF? His whole head fit in my hand, like... yesterday.
Liam: Is Liam. He's still his usual cheery bundle of joy and happiness, but it's taken on an edge. When he gets angry now he gets really angry. He's into throwing out threats now too when he's upset like, "you're going to jail(your room)," or "I don't love you as much." On the whole though, Liam is 3 going on 3. He's happy where he is and enjoying every minute of it. He's still not potty trained, but so what. He'll be ready when he's ready, although he now has a deadline which we're trying to make him understand. No peeing in the potty by September, no pre-school. But that's still two months away, and when you've only been alive for 38 months, that's a long time.
Connor MUST sleep with a pair of socks on. It doesn't matter if it's 40 degrees out (104 F), he will freak out if we don't put socks on him before he goes to bed. Liam, as long as he has his two baby penguins and his froggy, is not so OCD. We've had to start some minor brainwashing though. He went through a phase where he would not go to sleep. He'd talk to Connor, not lay down and force his eyes open just to stay up a little longer. Not so pleasant the next day. So we started telling him that if he wasn't quiet the Sleep Fairy would hear him. She would come into his room and make him go to sleep. Think Tinkerbell with her magic wand. I'll think Julia Roberts in that little green skirt from Hook, but you think Disney. Where was I? Oh ya, so it totally worked. Then we added closing his eyes because she would come in to check on him and if his eyes were open she'd know he was still awake. Judge if you will, but if you do, you don't have children and should probably keep your dumb ass opinions to yourself.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
Have a great weekend. Or, as I saw on Kottke yesterday, enjoy your "Will Smith holiday weekend."
Also, a big happy birthday for my nephew Dakoda, whom I couldn't find a picture of in all 1343 pictures in my iPhoto right now. So here's a picture of his sister instead. Just imagine her taller with less hair, more teeth and as a boy.
(Just a thought since I don't live in America and actually have to go to work today...since our two countries are so close in so many other ways, why don't we share the each other's holidays? Just think about it. Canada Day is July 1st. The Fourth of July is...well, the fourth of July. Work with me. You could have two holidays in a WEEK. And Thanksgiving? Twice? Tryptophan heaven! One in October and another in November so you'd even have time to recover. And really, the US's Thanksgiving just works so much better with Christmas. Dead presidents, dead queen's, combined there are a lot of holidays. I don't see any down side to this. If you're an American reader, please, call your member of Congress, I'll call my member of Parliament. Together we can make this work!)
Thursday, July 3, 2008
It's a little scratched on one corner, but otherwise fine. Phew!
Chad: The house is nice
Bernadette: It's a good thing I always have a sweater.
Chad: Be prepared! Tide Stick saved my white shirt tonight.
Bernadette: Kelly Ripa would be so proud!
Chad: I KNOW! But she might slap me on the back and knock me down with her giant pipes.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the one who’ll decide where to go.
— Dr. Seuss
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Home Depot: You can do it, but you'll probably just fuck it up. Hire a professional!
Yes. By 9:45am I'd already drilled several pointless holes in the ceiling of my bathroom and come to the unfortunate conclusion that I can no longer put off painting. God, I hate painting! Then it was off to sand my aircraft carrier sized sun deck in preparation of more painting. Ok, maybe not an aircraft carrier but definitely a Spanish galleon. And damn did I ever scrub those decks. Me, my little Ryobi circular sander and my iPod. It was actually kinda relaxing.
AND THEN, it was off to the movies!
If you have not seen Wall-E, GO!!! It is FANTASTIC! If you don't love it, I will give you your money back (snicker). Seriously though, best movie I've seen in awhile. Well, since Juno, which I loved, but you can't really compare them. Where am I going? ANYWAY... we weren't too sure how the monkeys were going to take it, this was their first movie in an actual theatre. Liam took his own chair, even though he couldn't see the bottom of the screen and loved everything. Well, there was some crying towards the end, but I won't tell you what about because I don't want to spoil it for you. (Don't worry, it's Disney, it's all good). Connor... not so much. He sat in my lap right from the start. There were a couple of trailers before the movie started that had rockets taking off in them and that didn't help things. And hello? If you are showing a kids movie that little kids are actually going to be seeing wouldn't it be good to turn down the volume a little so you don't damage their hearing? We made it about 25-30 minutes into the movie before he started crying and asking to go home. I decided to take him out and find something to do while Bern and Liam finished the movie but as we entered the little exit hall he still hadn't looked away from the screen so I asked him if he wanted to keep watching from there. He didn't answer, but he didn't say no either so we sat down in the hallway and watched from there. Not the most comfortable way to watch a movie, but it guaranteed I will always remember the first movie we saw together.
So yes, back to work tomorrow, but I had a hell of a Tuesday.
(Oh, and if you are a Mac user, keep an ear out for the sound Wall-E makes when he recharges his batteries)