Monday, March 31, 2008
Holiday has been pretty relaxing so far. Did pretty much nothing this weekend. Bern worked both days so it was mostly just me and the boys pretending like we were going to do something but mostly just playing Lego Star Wars and Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii. I have lots of plans for this holiday. Lots of plans. Just haven't got to many of them yet. Sure you could call it procrastination but I like to call it careful and well thought out planning. And lists. I'm all about the lists. I have a lovely one on my iPod right now. I've even crossed a few things off. Ok, some of them were things I found out I didn't have to do anymore, but whatever.
I did start the gardening! The boys and I had a lovely time hunting worms. Liam played with all sorts of big juicy worms and then ate potato chips from a little bag I brought out for him. Mmmm. Speaking of chips, have you tried these?
Pringles Select. Ooooh my. They're Pringles, so they're like crack anyway. Now they're parmesan and roasted garlic flavoured crack. Mmmmm. We also have a bag of sun dried tomato and cinnamon and sweet potato we haven't opened yet.
I had plans today involving a surprise for Bern, but they fell through. For today anyway. However I did get myself a lovely new hoodie from Lululemon modelled here by Connor:
Anyway, I can see by the time that I don't have enough time to feed the boys dinner before leaving to pick Bern up from work. Happy Meals! I could lie about doing this but they'll just rat me out to their mother anyway.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
2. When we crank up the heat in the bathroom for the kids bath time, we really need to make sure the garbage can isn't resting on the heater. Plastic, diapers... I'm just saying.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Oh yes, Toronto, it is you. Ha ha.
Some early morning thoughts:
Forsythia, they're like the drag queens of Spring. No matter the weather or time of day, they're in your face with their giant yellow happiness. Smile mofo! It's Spring!
When you get off the bus and you need to do God knows what in your purse or whatever, either move off to the side of the sidewalk or WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE! Be happy I didn't shove your dumb ass in front of that bus. Good morning!
Finally, had a brief scare this morning when the note pad in my iPod wouldn't work. I'd open it up to write something and it would just close itself. WTF? I tried it again when I got to work and it seems fine now. Played music just fine. And speaking of music, last song before I got to work... Sex Machine by James Brown. Get on up.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
(that's a zipper imprint on his chin)
After picking Mommy up this afternoon:
Connor: Mommy. Guess what Daddy said when he was driving?
Connor: He said 'Jesus.'
Mommy: Oh, he shouldn't say that should he?
Connor: No, that's bad. He also said 'hell.'
My son's a rat.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Wednesday shovelled half a dozen pieces of bacon into his mouth, chewed, wiped the fat from his lips with the back of his hand. "Didn't lose it," he said. "I still know exactly where it is."
-American Gods, Neil Gaiman
Friday, March 21, 2008
(I'm good with that.)
Bernadette: All these blonde kids look the same.
Me: What was that? You're a secret agent or a secret Asian? You could be a secret Asian. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
(Kids are half Asian. Get it? Get it?)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
MethodIzaz is a unique photography experience. Subjects are unaware of the exact moment they will be photographed and of the photographer's identity. Instead, the subject is photographed completely naturally, living life as normal.
Which is kinda cool. No posing, no dressing up special for a picture, just you being you.
We know it was wrong of us to stand idly by and let Al Gore show all those explicit photographs of what you're going to look like 30 years from now. But seriously — ease off.
Guess my part of Canada must have done something nice for her. Suckas.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
1.Get boys dressed, teeth brushed, fed. (not necessarily in that order) -10:06am done!
2. Remember all of the above for myself. - 10:06am done!
3. Best Buy for a new Wii game and possibly a new cordless phone. -1:27pm got the phone, no luck on the game
4. Home Depot for a little window (?) shopping.
5. Gardening. Need to expand the flower beds up front and nobody else seems to be doing it. Less grass=less grass to cut.
6. Laundry, as always.
7. Find snow shovel to clean all the toys out of the living room.
8. Remove the last of the wall paper from the bathroom so we (I) can finally get around to painting it.
9. Water indoor plants. Apparently they need that. -10:06am done!
... there's no real end to this list...
Ok, 9:12am and both boys are now in their rooms for some "quiet" time. Guess the first step in this list would be getting off my ass.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Not sure how good/bad that is but judging by my muffin top, I'm thinking not great. Five cups a week is 1400 calories. Times four weeks in a month... 5600 calories. Fuck. On the bright side, one cup is providing 12% of both my Vitamin A and Calcium needs.... ya.
Funny, when I sat down to write this, all I was going to say was that I forgot to put a second cup of water in the coffee machine last night so it's really strong this morning.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
I bought Bernadette a pedicure last Mother's Day. Saturday she finally got around to getting it, but that's another story. The boys have never seen her with painted toes and were FASCINATED when they saw them. Connor already has a strange interest in feet, but whatever. Liam was amazed. Bern was sitting down in the kitchen relaxing while the kids played with her new feet. A few minutes later she realized that Liam was slowly picking the paint off her big toe. At least they were pretty for half an hour.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Then he just spun more. Didn't say anything. No complaining, no crying, no talking at all. Just turning and turning and turning. Then he was put back in his own bed. At 6:30 the dinosaur's older bother woke up and I gave up on sleep altogether.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
The Lady's Brunch Burger
Take one Big Mac and 3 MacChickens. Replace the buns of the Big Mac with the chicken patties of the McChicken. Oh my. From Grocery Eats.
Heart: So what was your favourite?
Lungs: I loved the eliptical machine, that was a great workout.
Heart: True, that was...
ALARMS-people scrambling back to their desks, putting on headsets and grabbing checklists
Night Shift Supervisor: Report!
Emergency Response Team: Sir, Auditory picked up noises from the youngest child. May turn into a cry.
NSS: Ok, Adrenaline?
ERT: Adrenaline is on line and ready to go, all organs, muscle groups and Circulatory system have been alerted and are ready as well.
NSS: Ok then...what's the time?
Cry over the loudspeakers-control room, quiet until now, bursts into action.
ERT: Adrenaline pumped. He's fully awake.
NSS: Alright, looks like he's waiting to see if the boy will fall back asleep.
ERT: Sir, Auditory is requesting that the Eyes close to boost their signal strength.
NSS: Do it.
ERT: Child is definately awake. He's up and leaving the bedroom. Circulatory reports full dispersal of Adrenaline, primary functions are all in the green.
NSS: Good stuff. Ok, to the child's room without accident then. And kneeling beside the bed... how are the knees?
ERT: Noisey but they're not reporting any pain. They don't recommend him holding this position for too long.
NSS: Child Assessment?
Night Shift Child Manager (Liam): Sir, we believe the child has woken up from a mildly disturbing dream. The arrival of a parent has already relaxed him back into semi-consciousness. Our suggestion of soothing words and a gentle rubbing of the head seems to be doing the trick.
ERT: Sir, the Lower Intestine and Sphincter are requesting a gas release. Apparently this sitting position is putting a great deal of pressure on the Sphincter.
NSS: Let's see the numbers on screen. Wow, that's a big one. Look at the estimated decibil level. Child Assessment, what will his response be?
CA: Definite laughter, regardless of sleepiness. It will bring him back to consciousness.
NSS: That's what I figured. Ok, negative to gas release. Bladder looks to be full, tell them they can release at the same time once the child has been dealt with.
5 minutes later...
NSS: Alright, good work people. He's back in bed and drifting off.
34 minutes later... 4am
NSS: What the hell was that?
ERT: First born is awake and calling for help, sir. We're all ready but he'll be sluggish this time around.
NSS: Ok, let's get him up before First Born wakes up Second.
ERT: Sir! Right knee reports receiving "I'll get him" signal tap from wife.
NSS: Good. Ok, wind him down. Unfortunately the damage is done, advise morning crew that he'll need additional coffee this morning. Let's try and make this last hour as relaxing as possible. So much for the early bedtime.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Brain Control: Good morning, Body, this is Brain Control, can I have everyone return to their stations for today's pre-wake systems check. Ok, today is March the 5th, 2008, let's make it a good day. REM has been disabled and final dream is wrapping up. Consciousness?
Consc: Consciousness is warming up and on stand by. ETA on change over?
BC: Early estimates show change over to self consciousness to be slightly delayed this morning, we believe he'll wake up with or just before the alarm clock today. Thankfully the handover to sleep came early last night for a change.
(Sarcastic cheer from the control room with shouts of "it's about time.")
BC: Ok, ok, keep it down, let's get back to it. Consciousness?
Cons: We'll compensate for wake up time.
BC: Good. Ok, let's switch over to systems... Coronary?
Heart: Check. All systems running within parameters. We'd like to request another exercise reminder though.
BC: Noted. He is looking at another bike ride this week or weekend. The wife's new schedule is still causing problems.
BC: We know, we know... Ok, Respiratory?
Lungs: Ready. All systems green, ready to go back to full power. We'd also like to forward exercise request. We're running within parameters but we could be doing much better.
BC: Noted. Circulatory?
Blood: 5 by 5. White count is returning to normal as the back is healing quite nicely. We're good.
BC: Excellent. Excretory?
Excretory: Check. Bladder is full and all systems on-line, waiting for green light.
BC: Ok, major systems are go. We still have a few minutes, lets go through as many departments as we can before he's up. Alright, Skin, how is the back doing?
Skin: Healing is ahead of schedule, most scabs have detached, only larger ones remain. Itching is still an issue but he seems to be handling it fairly well. Need a reminder placed that he should not be rubbing the area, that while he's not using his nails even the friction from the skin on his hand can damage the sensitive areas.
BC: Good stuff. How we looking today?
Skin: Pretty good, no new blemishes to report today. He's switched to a new washing pad for his facial cleanser, less abrasive than old one. This is looking like a positive change. Do we have an ETA for the next tattoo session?
BC: End of May. This will be the last session and we're hearing that it will only be an hour to an hour and a half of work. We're almost there. Ok... looks like we're almost there... might start up with slight disorientation. Consciousness, we might need a prod to get him out of bed.
Consc: Ok, we're ready.
BC: Balance, readiness?
Inner ear: We're ready.
BC: Thank you. Ok, we're up people, let's start the countdown. Looks like he's waking up with the alarm today.
BC: Partial consciousness transfer... alarm clock off... Conscious, give him a shot.
Cons: Copy. There he goes.
BC: We're up. Clothes picked up, moving to door. Motor functions?
MF: Early on systems working within parameters, he's fine for stair decent.
BC: Alright, looking good people. Early reports?
Skin: He's cold. Remind him he could put on some clothes before going downstairs to turn on the coffee.
BC: Pre-established routine, he's not going to deviate. First thoughts?
Sub-conscious: Quite a jumble this morning. Unable to decipher initial thought, second was an idea for his story, and then rapid idea development for this blog.
BC: Good work team. Hand off to full consciousness is complete. Let's get to work.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
You are The Magician
Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.
Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.
The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Last fall Bern's dad gave us a bag of miniature daffodil bulbs. They were put aside with the intent of being planted before winter and obviously forgotten. There was a bit of soil in there and I guess it was open enough to let rain water in. I can't believe they survived the snow and freezing temperatures in a plastic bag sitting on concrete.